Moe (Mohamar Szyslak)

Last update: 1998-05-03 19:55

AmandaHugginkiss.wav
		(phone ringing)
Moe:		Yeah, just a sec, I'll check. Ahh, Amanda Hugginkiss, hey I'm
		lookin for Amanda Hugginkiss, why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?
Customers:	Ha, ha, ha..
Barney:		Maybe your standards are too high!
Moe:		You little SOB, if I ever find out who you are I'm gonna shove a
		sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!


AverageBear.wav
Moe:		Yeah, and these ones are smarter than the average bear. They swiped
		my pickenick basket.


BackToTheWall.wav
Bart:		Hey Moe, look over there!
Moe:		What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop
		looking soon. What? What, is that it?
Homer:		Hey Moe, can I look too?
Moe:		Sure, but it'll cost you.
Homer:		My wallet's in the car!
Moe:		He's so stupid. And now back to the wall.


BOProblem.wav
Moe:		B.O Problem, B.O Problem? Come on guys, do I have a B.O Problem
		here?


Bucket.wav
Moe:		When I get a hold of you I'm gonna use your head for a bucket
		and paint my house with your brain.


Butt.wav
		(Ring, ring)
Moe:		Moe's Tavern. Hold on I'll check. Hey everybody, I'm a stupid
		moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I
		like to kiss my own butt.
Homer, Barney:	Ha ha ha ha, that's a new one.
Moe:		Wait a minute!


Dignity.wav
Moe:		But no, no, that was funny, that was funny taking away my dignity
		like that, ha ha ha.


Dirt.wav
Moe:		Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you 
		struggle to resist the urge to punch them in the face, and for 
		what? For some pimply little puke that treat you like dirt unless 
		you're on a team. Well I'm better then dirt.. well most kinds of 
		dirt, not that fancy storeboard dirt, that stuff is loaded with
		nutrients, I can't compete with that stuff.


GniteEverybody.wav
Moe:		Goodnight everybody.


Liedetector.wav
Agent:		Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe:		No!
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		All right! Maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him.
		(Ping)
Agent:		Checks out. Okay sir, you're free to go.
Moe:		Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		A date.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		Dinner with friend.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		Dinner with loved.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		Watching TV alone.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		All right, I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in a Victoria's
		Secrets catalogue.
		(Beeeeep)
Moe:		...Seers catalogue.
		(Ping)
Moe:		Now would you unhook this already please? I don't deserve this kind
		of shabby treatment!
		(Beeeeep)


Loanshark.wav
Moe:		Sure Homer, I can lone you all the money you need. However, since
		you have no collateral I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.
Homer:		Gosh Moe, I use these all the time. Couldn't you just bash my head in?
Moe:		Hey, hey, are you a loneshark? Do you understand how finace works?
		Now let's do this thing.


PullOutYourEyes.wav
Moe:		Listen to me you, when I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes
		and shove em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap
		out of you. Okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat.


Rage.wav
Moe:		Wait a minute, you have a straight flush Homer. Goh, you do this 
		every time you..ohh..you..arch..gaa..choking on my own rage here.


UncleMoe.wav
Moe:		Here you go, here I am! Uncle Moe, thank you mam! This'll be a treat!
		Uncle Moe! Here I am, while you eat!............
		Please take the fries off my head kid, the basket is extremely hot!